This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Stress Jokes
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?
“Kakuna Rattata!”
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.