Protection jokes
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Keep yourself safe!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?