Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
Your brith certificate is like a apology from the condom factory...
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
what do u call security outside a samsung store guardians of the galaxy
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
My Penis is big and long what else is... my condom.....cucumber🥒🥒🥒🥜🖕🤬
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themself if there's a bully.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
