Catholic Jokes

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”


What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?

No seriously, what is it?

How to you trick a catholic priest into using the glory hole at a adult bookstore? tell him it is a confessional booth

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him "What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest

"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says

"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people "WHERES THE MEAT!"

Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.

Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!

What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.