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Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and f... me”

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

what do fat demons hate, exorcise

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy

How do you kill a little boy You throw him between two Catholic priest

Whats the difference between a catholic priest and a pedophile? One is catholic and the other is a Priest.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

whats the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
a zit will wait til 12 before it cums on your face.

My dog died

What do you call a priest that is a furry? A catholic

What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.