You’d think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

what do fat demons hate, exorcise

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and fuck me”

I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”.

I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”

What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?

A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face

Why does a penis tastes like octopus 🐙 stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one

How do you kill a little boy You throw him between two Catholic priest

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

What does mcdonalds and Catholic priest have in common

They both put their meat in 10 year old buns

Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.