How do you make holy water?

You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? – Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and f... me”

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic

What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

what do fat demons hate, exorcise

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy

How do you kill a little boy You throw him between two Catholic priest

Who would win? The laws of the catholic church which have been affective for over 900 years

one horny henry

Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.

What do Macdonalds and Priests both do? They both put their meat between 10 year old buns

whats the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
a zit will wait til 12 before it cums on your face.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.

What do you call a priest that is a furry? A catholic

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