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Jokes
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Protection memes

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Watermelon

hayden💯💯💯 · 3 years ago

thanks for the information

The image shows a scarecrow dressed in a white robe and pointed hood standing in a field of watermelons. The text above the image says, "How to protect your watermelon farm".

Watermelon

Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows a scarecrow dressed in a white robe and hood, similar to what members of the KKK would wear. The scarecrow stands in a field of watermelons. The text reads 'How to protect your watermelon farm.'

Cat

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A tabby cat lies on the floor with a rainbow-colored light beam emanating from its rear. Below the cat, a news banner reads, "BREAKING NEWS: CAT PROTECTS FAMILY FROM A LGBT. Brave cat stopped the LGBT as it entered the home."

Beer

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a blurred scene of two figures fighting. The text overlay reads: "Me fighting off Child Protective Services from taking away my beer getting machine."

Turtle

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A painting depicts a large turtle standing on a beach with a shotgun. In the foreground, numerous baby turtles are making their way to the ocean. In the background, two pelicans are standing on a rock formation.

Fish

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A white sign with black text on a dark post. The top of the image has text "Ocean's closed for business". The sign itself has a large bold heading "Please do not fuck the fish" and lists bullet points: "It can make them sick", "They may bite you", "It changes their behaviour", and "There's plenty of squirrels in the forest if you really need a fleshlight". Below the bullet points, it says "Please help protect the fish and keep the marine reserve natural". At the very bottom, it reads "Department of Conservation Te Papa Atawhai". On the left side of the sign, there's a small graphic of a hand holding a fish with a prohibition symbol over it, and text "yeetbob.yeetpants" vertically along the edge.

Rug

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

House

Anonymous · 2 years ago

My dream tbh

The image shows a black firearm with an attached horn. The text says "Imagine breaking into my house and hearing honk honk before getting smoked."

Tank

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image presents a comparison between a "Girlfriend" and a "Leopard 2 A7 Tank". The "Girlfriend" side lists negatives such as "Can't fire missiles", "Never protects you", "Minds if you roam with other girls", and "Breaks up with you". The "Leopard 2 A7 Tank" side lists positives like "Can fire missiles", "Has a bulletproof outer shell", "Doesn't mind if you use other tanks", and "Virtually impossible to break."

Minecraft

Willy b · 9 months ago

The image is split vertically. On the left side, four inventory slots from the video game Minecraft display pixelated items: a wooden bow with an arrow, a diamond chest plate, diamond leggings, and diamond boots. On the right side, a character resembling a Spartan from the video game Halo, clad in blue and silver armor, appears to be absorbing or emitting blue electrical energy. Another character in red armor is partially visible to the left of the blue Spartan. In the bottom right corner, text reads '@j.verderame_ From TikTok comment'.

Armor

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A photo of a soldier wearing a ton of yellow, wheel-like objects. The caption reads: "You see, Vladimir, when wear armor like mine, enemy will never be of shoot you for fear of explode city bloc".

Werewolf

Anonymous · 2 years ago

In a digitally created image, a tall werewolf figure with a sword and shield stands in front of a storm with the text: "stay behind me kitten... it's gonna get wild."

Deodorant

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A meme featuring actor Rami Malek, as the character Elliot Alderson from Mr. Robot, wearing a black hoodie and looking off to the side with a slight, confident smirk. The text above reads: "When someone says it stinks but you genuinely got a crisp 30 mins left on tha 72 hour deodorant so you know it ain't you".

Foot

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A three-panel comic shows a slipper with a worried expression saying, "I'm not so sure about this foot-senpai..." In the second panel, a foot wearing a sock is visible with the dialogue, "Don't worry, I'm wearing protection." The final panel shows the slipper with hearts around it, looking at the socked foot.

Bullet

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

The image shows a gun firing a bullet. Next to it, there's a man wearing a bullet as clothing with the text "Why not wear a JACKET PROOF BULLET?" above the man.

Rabbit

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An illustration of Winnie the Pooh, depicted in a serious and somewhat menacing manner, with a pensive expression, sitting in what appears to be a dark pool or bath. A dark, thin object, possibly a hookah, is visible next to him. The background is dark with horizontal stripes, giving a dramatic, almost crime-boss-like ambiance. Text above reads: 'rabbit has failed to protect honey production. he will be reassigned. tame the hundred acre wood, tigger. free the honey. i'll make you christopher robin's best friend'.

Child

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A close-up of a yellow sponge with a worried expression. Above it, a text overlay reads, "Arizonans watching their child burn to a crisp after forgetting to cover them in SPF 5,000 sunscreen."

Freedom

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A text document screenshot with a paragraph about knowing fundamental rights and making informed voting decisions. Highlighted in yellow is "Even with the margin of error being 9 percent average, which is still significant." A suggestion box from Grammarly is on the right saying "One obvious solution to this problem is Iwyluwxzdlvq more civics courses in schools and wxtloj it a graduation requirement for high school students."

Family

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a tweet from user @blockeveryacct that reads "maryland has fallen" above a screenshot of a public safety alert for Thanksgiving. The alert urges people to wear a mask, social distance, get tested and remember Maryland.

Girlfriend

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

A side-by-side comparison of a girlfriend and a Keetongu figure, listing their attributes in table form. The girlfriend is described as being pretty but not always, knows makeup, will choose a bad boy, can break your heart, forces you to choose between her and friend, and is a weak fighter that needs protection. Keetongu is described as beautiful, with a symmetric shape, knows every kind of poison, will distinguish good and evil, will always protect with an absorbing shield, will help you save your friend, and can crush Sidorak with his bare hands.

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