Protection jokes
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What protects clowns from the sun?
A bozone layer.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
A condom!
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!