Protection Jokes

I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone

Those rape alarms give you a headache don't they?

Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows

Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.

The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.

The condom just sitting there laughing.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's The Difference Between A Nuclear Reactor And Your Step Sis? You Need To Use Protection For The Nuclear Reactor.

what kind of cheese protects castles

MOAT-zerrela

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? A: He forgot to wrap his whopper

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off

Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)