What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender
i hate it when ever i bring a girl over my parents don’t care but when i bring one of my friends thats a boy there like KeEp ThE DoOr OpEn and im gay
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
An orphan died. No one cared why? Who is supposed spread the word his parents.
You know when women clean their nails with chemicals no one cares but when hitler tries to clean poland with chemicals everyone goes crazy
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,“whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars.” some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,“wow I can’t believe you did it! So whats your prize?” the guy says,“I don’t care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!”
My grief counsellor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn’t care.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes
I get more care packages than Africa
Why didn’t anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Before: Caring & Noble