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What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses

Hitler walks into a bar in hell, the bar tender asks “why are you here? Hitler calmly reply’s.” I killed 8 million Jews and 3 clowns.” The bar tender says “why 3 clowns?” Hitler laughs before answering “see knowone cares about the Jews! Why am I here!”

You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

You know when women clean their nails with chemicals no one cares but when hitler tries to clean poland with chemicals everyone goes crazy

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens? A chicken tender

Why didn’t anyone care about the circus?

Because it was irr-elephant.

freshman - hey whats better ford or chevy. seinor - i dont f...in care long as it drives. freshman - so im guessing its chevy

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators, One night he has a party and says,“whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars.” some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says,“wow I can’t believe you did it! So whats your prize?” the guy says,“I don’t care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the B@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!”

according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay ?

Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler

Guy 1: yeah me too i don’t like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series

Guy 2: omg what did i just say i wasn’t even knowing what were you talking about :<

Guy 1: like i do care :$

Guy 3: but i do care :<

Guy 1: fu*k you

Guy 3: do it

Guy 2: but you do care about me

Guy 3: no

Guy 2: fu*k you

Guy 3: do it

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.

What do you call a chicken that was cared? A tendered chicken

Christopher Columbus:Sees native americans Can i see your land Native amercians:sure just be care… Christopher Columbus:Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit

I get more care packages than Africa