What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Everyone loves orphans,
other than their parents of course.
the orphan: why don't my parents love me? me: because you don't have any
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I saw this little girl crying I asked her where her parents where she cried more man I love working at an orphanage
are you an orphanage? why? because i wanna put my kids in you
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
The f in orphan is for family
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care