Protection jokes
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
choose one
Probably the quack troop for me bc I will have the numbers say what you would choose in the comments
Community talk
I have to protect you.
@matt, we needs mods. Ppl say you spend more time on Sw than here and idk if that's true, but with the lack of you, and the Mods you oversee. We really do need them. I probably don't need to do this, but in my eye a request is more lightly meaningful the more evidence you give, so here are the main reasons, (in no particular order) and who is the most trustworthy and eligible for being a Mod, I'm my eyes, and I'd li… Read more
Chapter One Part one - Foundations Nevelah was not always a Nevelah—a carcass. It was once the creator of all humanity. A young man named Mavet. Mavet was the first and only human to exist, born when the Earth collided with the Spear of Organs. The Spear, now a shield protecting the Earth and all of "human," brought forth a being far from understanding. The word "human" itself comes from Nevelai, the original langua… Read more