Shield jokes
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Knight HAHAHAHA!
Yo, forehead reflects projectiles just like the shield in Strike Force Heroes.
What did Charizard say to Arceus? "Knife to meet you, literally. I got you out of Pokémon Sword and Shield!"
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
Community talk
Chapter One Part one - Foundations Nevelah was not always a Nevelah—a carcass. It was once the creator of all humanity. A young man named Mavet. Mavet was the first and only human to exist, born when the Earth collided with the Spear of Organs. The Spear, now a shield protecting the Earth and all of "human," brought forth a being far from understanding. The word "human" itself comes from Nevelai, the original langua… Read more
GENESIS 15 The Lord’s Covenant With Abram 1After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.” 2But Abram said, “Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” 3And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.” 4Then th… Read more