Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
