What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say 'Thank God' and to stop the horse, to say ' Hallelujah'. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.
The other day me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts I was wearing a black top she was wearing a stripy top we were arguing abt who was more creative when she asked to prove that I am I just said "u buy ur stripes, I make mine"
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
Never buy a epileptic kid light up sketchers
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odour and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygenic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
I offered to share a Meal with an Homeless Person once but he said "Piss off and buy your Own"
buy KFC or else
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile
