Velcro jokes

The man who invented Velcro died.

RIP.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows.

Velcro is such a rip-off.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

Kleenex

Depends

Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

Velcro Shoe manufacturers

Steven Hawkings Publishers

I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.

Man, I loved that wheelchair.

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.