Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Product Jokes
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. π
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Your hairline is so expired, itβs more expired than your milk!
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. π§Ό
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
