I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’

Look I didn’t hit rock bottom I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

fo’drizzle

If the broccoli said “I look like a tree”,then what did the mushroom say? “I look like an umbrella.”

Mom-go water the plants. Me-buts it’s raining outside. Mom-go grab the umbrella. Me-what???

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