How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"
For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep.
If you really think about it every market in Africa is a black market
so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Its embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down, lucky enough the super market is just round the corner.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people Called the iopener
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
Where do sheep go to shop? Woolmart
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I tell I read about the Jew giving out the free fish
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support windows.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
im a big fan of white boards there re-marketable
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? Its called Trycoxagain.
me: i did just come home from africa and guess what i saw. friend: i dont know. me: a black market.
