Brand

Brand Jokes

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

3

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

1

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.