Brand

Brand Jokes

Condom

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

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  • Kanye West

    I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

    Misunderstanding

    Friend: I broke up with Sara.

    Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

    Friend: How did her pussy feel?

    Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

    Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

    Memes

    Weight

    I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

    Abortion

    My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

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  • KFC

    KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

    Bike

    I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

    Dandruff

    Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

    Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

    Paint

    What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

    Dutch Boy.