Man

Anonymous

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

Snail

Tony

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Common

Anonymous

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Prostitution

Dumbhunter69

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them

Darkness

Thanks NutButt

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

White

flying high

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

  • in Washington D.C.

Orange

Anonymous

My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a wall… depends on how hard you throw them

Wife

Anonymous

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

Baby

Anonymous

How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

Puns

Anonymous

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

Smell

Anonymous

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

Puns

0xFFA715

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

Kid

Artism

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Puns

0xFFA715

What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

Puns

Chkn Nuget Dino

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

Hearing

Anonymous

Did you hear about the dead artist

Too many strokes

Rabbit

PunsGalore

I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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