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Common

Anonymous

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Car

Tony

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Rabbit

Anonymous

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

White

flying high

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

  • in Washington D.C.

Darkness

Thanks NutButt

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Prostitution

Dumbhunter69

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

Smell

Anonymous

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Wall

Anonymous

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

Make

Anonymous

My Xbox has been acting up lately…

So I painted it black to make it run faster

Kid

Artism

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Wife

Big Thick Daddy

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up

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Wife

Anonymous

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

Puns

0xFFA715

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

Puns

Anonymous

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

Puns

Chkn Nuget Dino

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

Difference

Ur mom is gay

What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted

Common

Anonymous

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them

Baby

Anonymous

how many babies does it take to paint a wall

depends on how hard you throw them

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