One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall-----Depends on how hard you throw them

What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

How to decorate a wall:

Strip of the paper and original plaster

put on fresh plaster and wall paper

paint it (if you want)

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our bas....t but we threw the babies too hard”.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall

depends on how hard you throw them

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

Q/How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall A/depends how hard you throw them

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

Did you hear about the dead artist

Too many strokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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