What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

• in Washington D.C.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

What is blue but smells like red paint?

• Blue paint

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

My Xbox has been acting up lately…

So I painted it black to make it run faster

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them

how many babies does it take to paint a wall

depends on how hard you throw them