What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

  • in Washington D.C.

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

How many babies does it take to paint a wall… depends on how hard you throw them

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

Did you hear about the dead artist

Too many strokes

I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

how many babies does it take to paint a wall: it depends on how hard you throw them