Paint Jokes

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead so I leaned in and said "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed"

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

My Xbox has been acting up lately...

So I painted it black to make it run faster

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They're both paid for a good finish..

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

what is the difference between jesus and a painting of jesus

It only takes on nail to hang a painting

Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

What is blue but smells like red paint? - Blue paint

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many kids does it take to paint a wall ?

Depends on how hard u throw them 😂😂😂😂

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? - in Washington D.C.

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up

your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint