Paint Jokes

Anonymous
in Music

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

6
Anonymous

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

Anonymous

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

Thanks NutButt
in Darkness

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Dumbhunter69

What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

Anonymous
in Communist

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

“But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?” Asks one of the guests.

“Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

Tony

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

3
Anonymous
in Bad

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint
Anonymous

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

0
Anonymous
in Puns

A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

Anonymous

My Xbox has been acting up lately…

So I painted it black to make it run faster

That_One_Chick
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this

KIDSPALACE

How many kids does it take to paint a wall ?

Depends on how hard u throw them 😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

flying high

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

  • in Washington D.C.
Big Thick Daddy

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up

How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it

Chkn Nuget Dino
in Puns

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

in Dark Humor

What do Phillips adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.