Roof

Anonymous

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof

Difference

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Woman

Anonymous

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

3

Difference

MISS. B.... TO YOU!

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t sell drugs.

1

Drug

Anonymous

If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know

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Cliff

Anonymous

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".

Prostitution

Anonymous

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

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Roof

Anonymous

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

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Drug

Jp2008

What do kids and drugs have in common , I sell both of the

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Fat

Anonymous

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

2

Roof

Anonymous

I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!

Drink

SomeGuyIdk

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull

Titanic

Anonymous

I wonder if the titanic still sells fish?

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Prostitution

Anonymous

A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.

3

Fat

The roast king

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

Street

Anonymous

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks… Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”

Hair

mr.squad

blonde walks in i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. comes back the next day with brown hair. i want to buy that tv. seller:i dont sell to blondes. thats it howd you know i was a blonde seller: because thats a microwave

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Invention

Anonymous

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it’s 95% cabbage.

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Orphan

Anonymous

Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet

Prostitution

Epicjokes

How can a prostitute make more money then a drug dealer?

She can clean her crack and sell it again.