I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof
Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say ‘Thank God’ and to stop the horse, to say ’ Hallelujah’. The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled hallelujah and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said 'Thank God".
I wonder if the titanic still sells fish?
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t sell drugs.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!
1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!
- Your so fat you could sell shade!
- Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it’s 95% cabbage.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was “remarkable.”
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling QUACK
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
I am a George Formby fan,and I love football…my favourite manager was Arsen Wenger…my favourite referee was Collina…my favourite player was Dean Windas…so my favourite George Formby song was Wenger,Collina,Windas