Why do toy bears have small eyes?
Because they were made in China.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
Blue Winston.
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
What’s Emos favourite bacci?
Cutters choice.
Her (DYM 121).
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
A blue Winston.
Glue is sticky.
hahahahahhhahaha
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Vaseline
Why don't I poop Windex? Because I Pledge to do my doodie!
Put some Windex on it.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
Best way of abortion?
Beyblade abortion.
LET IT R.I.P.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
