Head of Company: We need to stop testing our products on animals. Consultant: Why? The shampoo companies do it. Head of Company: Yeah, but we make dildos.
I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as RedBull
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
..their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people Called the iopener
What does the dairy products praise? Cheeseus
I went to self-checkout at a store and i scanned my products. But the scanner wouldn ́t scan the barcode on my arm.
when i saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, i told him to censor that a-hole. when i saw the completed product, he censored me. then i killed him.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of....
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support windows.
Your brith certificate is like a apology from the condom factory...
my favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
Producer: we need to stop testing out products on animals. CEO: shapoo companies do it all the time Fairchild republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt
I did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf It was only 3/5 full
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID
none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb
