Product jokes
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Bleach!
Joke Tide.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Memes
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
The toaster, otherwise the perfect bath bomb.
Doin (DYM 58)?
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
A: One is a good year, one is a great year.
your (DYM 38)
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?
Because they already 69'd.
I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.
If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.