Phrase jokes

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah Oh yeah yeah

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

No way, Jose!

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?

What do you call a cow that has been shot?

Holy cow!

Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."

Knock knock. Who's there? Por que. Por que who? "That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.

Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.

H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:

Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.

It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.

It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.

This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.

So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?

A: Eat my dust.

What did the dirt say to the embers?

You look smoking hot.

Why did the girls sit on the clock?

To be on time.