Phrase jokes
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
In the realm of the mind, Where thoughts wander undefined, This sentence emerges, unconfined, A whimsical phrase, quite inclined.
It dances freely, unrestrained, No structure, no rules, it's unchained, A playful verse, with words unfeigned, The first to surface, unrestrained.
It holds no grandeur, nor deep insight, Just a simple thought, taking flight, A fleeting notion, shining bright, In the realm of words, it feels right.
This sentence, unburdened and free, Plays with language, wild and carefree, A tiny poem, as small as can be, Yet it speaks volumes, silently.
So let it wander, let it roam, Across the page, it finds a home, Unfettered by rhythm, it freely roams, This sentence, the first, stands alone.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Which flies cannot be seen?
Time flies.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"