Phrase jokes

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?

I guess orange is the new black.

If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:

"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"

Hi boo!

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

Allahu Akbar.

What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.

Keep calm and curry on!

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.