Phrase jokes
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Memes
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.