What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
