Linguistics jokes
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.