The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi
Words that have ho in them:
Thot Whore Asshole Horrible Horena (my ex gf)
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
When did “yo” mean Hello. They are so different, how did they mean the same thing. Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language.
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
