Linguistics jokes
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.