Penis jokes
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Penis, cheese, butt, cum.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
Mijn penis is lang lmao.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
Peter Griffin's chin.
Should I mention how much it looks like a penis?
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Community talk
If i took a rhino pill would i grow a penis
(As per Cosmo's request)
Jack opened his drying eyes, awoken by a piercing ray of sunlight shining through crooked blinds. A gentle smell wafted in from the corner of what his temporarily blinded eyes knew to be a dilapidated kitchen. It was the one good thing about his life, that smell. He closed his eyes once more and awaited his call.
“Jacky, breakfast time!” beckoned that oh-so-familiar girlish voice. “Oh, sil… Read more
Do not put your penis in a vacuum cleaner. Please do not insert your penis into a vacuum cleaner.
For starters, the vacuum cleaner might be dirty. It's likely that there might be dirt, dust, and bacteria that could cause an infection if they come into contact with sensitive tissues.
The vacuum cleaner is also dry. The penis is meant to be moist, and a vacuum cleaner with high suction power could chafe some of the d… Read more