Penis jokes
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!
I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Kasper has a tiny penis.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.