A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
