Party jokes
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!