I'm not you, I'm the life you're too scared to live, you're asleep. I'm awake. Wanna know why I do this? Wanna know why you don't...?
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What’s the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time

Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he's too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

Hello 🤩 I'm here to ask are there more doors or wheels. Like for doors, dislike for wheels. Comment for your reasons. I'm interested to see what will happen