House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn’t wish for a million pounds. I’d just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck