What do you call a candle in armor?

A knight light

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

What song was played at the flatulent centenarian’s birthday? Candle in the Wind!!

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend. Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, “Oh no the sharks will get him.” All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, the sharks are not even bothering him! And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, “Professional Courtesy.”

I don’t ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that’s not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles…like damn, I thought I hid my ring

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda’s (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. “All I wanna do is Candle you”

(Lexa and Clarke from ‘The 100’ [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa…)

how can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles? ans:just throw one candle in sea the boat will become lighter

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun “Wheres the candle?” the other Nun says “Doesn’t it!”.

Why is there bullying? They can candle it by them-shelfs.