One jokes
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."