One jokes
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.