One jokes

Bad girls are just embarrassing (except Hydropy, Ampharos, and Avoli). No one in Pokémon wants to kill you, but here you are a girl.

What's the difference between Christianity and Scientology?

One is accepted as a cult by most people and the other has most people brainwashed.

What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.

(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"

(Me): "Suicide."

The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.

The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."

One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.

Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."

"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."

"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.

I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.

So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.

I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

What is the motto of left-wing authoritarianism?

We don't have one, so you don't need one.

Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.

Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.

And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.

What’s the difference between an Indian and an Arab?

One's responsible for 7/11, the other's responsible for 9/11.

I put my uncle's ashes in my Taco Bell so he could tear my ass up one more time.

What did one terrorist say to their kid?

“Here comes the airplane!” “Here comes the other one!”

What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?

One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?

Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.

Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.

Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.

Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!

Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.

Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.

Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.

Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.

Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?

Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.

Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.

There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.

Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?

He could never finish a race.