One Jokes

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

"We are Number one."

What did the one tower say to the other?

"Here comes the airplane!"

I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.

"Chelsea is the most consistent team.

One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.

If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.

There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...

...Steve Kerr’s team.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?

Orphan: I don't know what you mean.

Me: There is no one to give a present.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

No one misses them.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"