One jokes
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Q: What's the most popular dish in Africa?
A: The empty one!
Memes
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Tork Poettschke & Jack London walk down the street together. One asks the other, "May I stand in the middle?"
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
You're in One Piece because they're looking for your hairline.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman: