One jokes
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
It's sad someone has ligma.
I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.
Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.