One jokes
Guys, someone told me to describe my ex as a shop. Boi, he's not a shop! I found him at the lost and found. But if he was one, he'd be the drugstore.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.
One word. Creeper.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
But he could only get 1 trade.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!