Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Im not fat!!
Im a Nutritional Overachiever
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years? A war of nutrition
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
