Yo'Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why do the French eat snails? -- They don't like fast food.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant
What does an cannibal call people in water
Sea food
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise
Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits? : A blender.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
