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Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because their family size.

Puns

Colebot

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

People

Anonymous

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Box

oops

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

Time

Anonymous

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

French

Anonymous

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Suck

Anonymous

A teacher asks a boy in her class “If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?” The boy responds with “None.” The teacher asks why. “They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot.” The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher “3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?” The teacher says “The one sucking it.” The boy says “No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think.”

Orphan

Anonymous

y do orphans eat cereal with water

there dad did not come back with the milk

Ball

Anonymous

the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Baby

He must never know

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

Toe

Anonymous

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

Depression

Train Boy

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

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Orphan

Jamie White

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Puns

Lord Voldemort

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day

Girlfriend

The Best Boi

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

Puns

Anonymous

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

Cannibal

Anonymous

Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant

Man

person

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?”

The second man replies, “No, you can have it if you want.”

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he’s chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got too.”

Sister

Jesse

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

Brain

Anonymous

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

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