Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?”

The second man replies, “No, you can have it if you want.”

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he’s chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got too.”

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.

The reason why the “eating a tide pod” trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

A panda walks into a bar, he asked the bar tender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him the leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “it’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

Loading...