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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat, you get Fat.

What? were you expecting a pi joke?

What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?

The reason why the “eating a tide pod” trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?”

The second man replies, “No, you can have it if you want.”

So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.

About halfway through the bowl, he’s chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.

He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.

The second man looks at him and says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got too.”