Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?”
The second man replies, “No, you can have it if you want.”
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he’s chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got too.”