Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
