Nutrition jokes
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
I'm not fat!!
I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."