Breakfast Jokes

Amber Heard’s Morning Routine

Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.

then the antidote becomes the most important

you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc

What's the difference between eggs, and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.

Why doesn't my egg want to crack?

Because I hate my egg-sistence.

What is the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting up.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

My day started out great until I woke up

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand? Breakfast in bed!

What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."