Breakfast Jokes

Anonymous

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Anonymous
in Puns

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

the chef

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.

then the antidote becomes the most important

2
Anonymous
in Animal

Where do rabbits eat breakfast? -- IHOP.

2
Anonymous

Why did the coffee file a police report??

- because it got mugged

Anonymous

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

2
uh no
in Little Johnny

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Anonymous

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

Anonymous
in Bar

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

0
igloo and you

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast”

Anonymous

One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, "man its hot in here." The other one said "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"

Amber Heard’s Morning Routine

Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed

Anonymous
in Animal

What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.

9
Anonymous
in Cannibal

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand? Breakfast in bed!

lechezy_KID101
in Puns

What do cats eat for breakfast???????????

mice krispies

Anonymous mouse

I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't

Lily Wolf
in Puns

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon)-Don't go bacon my heart (Egg)-I couldn't if I fried

1
Jako

Why did the cow have for breakfast?

Answer: Muesli

Fluffybunny69
in Orphan

Kid. What is an orphans favorite breakfast? Teacher. What? Kid. Fruity pebbles with water Teacher. Why water? Kid. Cause it's dad never came back with the milk

Onna day Imma going to Malta to bigga hotel In the morning I go downa to eat breakfast, I tell the waitress I want to pieces of toast, She brings me only one piece, I tell her I want to piece, She sais: "go to the toilet", I say: "you nounderstand", I wanna piece on my plate, she says: "you better not piss on your plate you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch

I don't need this shit!!

Later, I go to eata at the bigga restaurant, the waitress brings me a spoon and a knive, but no fork, I tell her i wanted a fork, she tella me everyone wanna fuck, i tell: "you don't understand, I wanna fork on my table", she says: "you better not fuck on the table you son of a bitch", I don't even know the lady and she calls me a son of a bitch

I dont need this shit!

So I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed, call the manager and telling him I wanna a sheet, he tella me go to the toilet, I say: "you don't understand, I wanna sheet on my bed", he says: "you better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch",

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk says 'peace on you', I say 'piss on you too you son of a bitch, Im going back to Italia, ariva derchi'

I don't need this shit!

Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent