Sprinter jokes

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."