Sprinter jokes

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.

Usain Boat.

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Sonic can run around the world in a second.

In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."