My jokes
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
Daddy, where's my anus?
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
my goofy ahh uncle
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.