My jokes

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Words that have "ho" in them:

Thot

Whore

Asshole

Horrible

Horena (my ex gf)

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.

Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.

Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.

Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.

Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!

Rachel: Alright!

On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.

Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏