My jokes
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
Memes
This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
My bum hurts.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
"Fortnite battlepass, I just shit out my ass."
Fortnite, Fortnite, did I mention Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite?
Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."