Missile

Missile Jokes

Drone

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

Attack

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

Hospital

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

Mate

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

  • 1
  • Inflation

    President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.

    Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.

    Putin

    Just told Putin to get some b*tches.

    Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.

    Nuke

    Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

    Pilot

    The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.

    Orphan

    Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

    Because homing missiles don't work on them.

    Difference

    What is the difference between Obama and Osama?

    Osama didn't kill innocent civilians with missile strikes.

    Orphanage

    Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

    Mamma

    Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.

    Orphan

    Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?

    Because homing missiles don’t work on them.