Medicine jokes
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
Erectile dysfunction.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.