What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
Medicine Jokes
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!