Medicine jokes
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital? Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Diarrhea.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.